Worst.

last night my lover had a gig it was amazing, he is a total babe and i cant even start to describe how amazing he is and how much he blows my mind :) im going to watch his little brothers grand final tomorrow morning.. so cute. i love his family and everything about him...
but the worst thing last night was ''the babe'' was there, i knew he was going to be there but i donno i didnt really know how to prepare myself for it.. i didnt really want to see him.. i never replied to his msgs and i hadnt seen or spoken to him in a month... since our one night stand. i said hi, i spoke to him but of course i was awkward, im terribly awkward at the best of times. so i thought that would be it but no... we went to another bar and i went to dance with some friends and he just stood there... what? he left all his friends and followed me around it was creepy i wanted him to leave and if he wasnt going too, i surely was. i was driving and he asked for a lift i politely said no... i had my dads ute so i could only take one person and it wasnt going to be him. i felt pressured and i couldnt take it anymore, my lover had gone so there was no point of me being there so the first chance i got i bolted. in hindsight what i did was completely rude but im really not interested and if i was i would have made that clear. i dont know what  it is maybe that fact the he wants me to much and thats just too overwhelming for such a loner like myself or that im 100% emotionally involved with someone else even though theyre not 100% emotionally involved with me. its all just a bit silly, but whatever....