So Indie.

you know what, when girls go through their indie quirky 90's grunge all different hair colour phase no matter how cool and individual they may seem they always look way more beautiful when they dye their hair to a natural colour. is this mean of me? i had bright red hair and pink hair so i guess thats a bit hypocritical but i donno... i just saw a girls blog and she wears all different coloured wigs but then i found i picture of her with long brown hair and she looked amazing. it makes me want to watch 'A Lot Like Love' totally gonna do it!

Non Stop.

Ive been so busy for the last three weeks... Ive had to paint the whole inside of a 3 bedroom house and i still need to finish it and paint some of the outside. The owners are complete perfectionists and neat freaks and they want to move in on saturday but i probably wont be finished which is fine i can paint while they move in.. but they cant have that, its just ridiculous : /
Its also my last semester of uni and Ive failed a subject because Im trying to get this house finished so that is annoying i dont want to come back next year for that. But its my last week i need to set up my studio then thats it. Glad its over. My mum wanted me to work at her shop and I havent even been there its so bad. Ive had gigs and parties in melbourne and it never seems to end. Im usually a very organised person but i feel like Ive lost the plot, Ive also had the worst luck lately after my last post i tried to start my mums car and it wouldnt start so thats great. I spilt a can of white paint all over the gear stick of my dads car, i ruined my bestfriends artwork completely smashing the glass and too top it off i injured my leg at volleyball tuesday night.... i hope thats the last of it, its got to be right?
Aside from that my lover has started to message me again and things are looking up its exciting and i hope it goes well!!!
Also three weeks until my holiday :)

Whoops.

so my parents are away and im house sitting. yesterday i drove my mums car into the drive way and smashed into the brick fence and pushed it over... apart from that there is a huge scratch on the side of mums car. it feels kind of like a teen movie situation folks go away kid fucks shit up. so now my options are get it all fixed before they come back which who knows how much it will cost or just tell them and face the disappointment. the next logical step is to get a quote and see how much it will cost to get the car fixed before i decide to do anything... im such an idiot. i have the worst luck!

Interesting.

so i was hanging out with my bestfriends sister (girls night) we talked about past lovers and girl things like that. which is very different for me because most of my friends are male and its not like they want to know anything about that... strangely. so a couple of days ago i told her about me and her brother and she completely understood the situation and because my lover is her cousin they are close and they talk and this is basically what she told me. my lover is completely interested in me but he is scared shitless. scared my expectations are to high to be in a relationship. scared that he will have to choose me over music and scared that it wont work out. so what needs to be done is i need to talk to him because for me these things arnt an issue. i want my relationship to be more of a friendship im not a typical girlfriend im not overwhelming and i dont care if you want to go out and do your own thing. im ridiculously independent myself so i would only expect the same. and as much as love is my biggest obsession in life i understand priority and ones self should be at its highest and for my lover that is music. thats what makes him him and to be honest i would love nothing more than to listen to him play guitar all the time. and the issue of it not working out, thats life and why regret it instead of trying. id rather know especially when we are so right for each other. anyway wow, i donno. i need to say something. reassure him that everything will be okay. we will be okay. 

Sweetness.

we hadnt really talked much after what happened. but he messaged me tonight. he's sweet. all hope has not been lost. all i want is for him to put his arms around me and hold me tight. i hope this happens soon.

Naughty.

It feels so good because its so wrong, but i dont want to stop it.