Recurring.

Fuck. I just did the worst thing. I stayed with my lover last night and he was very distant and he's like that sometimes but we were doing great until we slept together then it was like nothing. And so i just had this urge to look at his messages while he was in the shower to see if there were any girls. Im not usually like that, i trust the people im with. But something seemed up. And i was right, it was a named id never heard before and the messages were flirty and meet me here and so on... ive realised that the name is a nickname for his ex. I dont understand how he can want her after all she has done and when im here. But when i read them i freaked out i was shaking so i just left. He just messaged me asking where i went and if anything happened on his phone because it was unlocked... i just said i felt like you didnt want me there and that my phone died so i was checking the time and by habit unlocked it. He then asked if i happened to go through his messages... playing dumb i replied nope why would i do that...( in my haste i must of forgot to get out of the ex's messages....fuck) He said that he thought someone was fuckin with him? :/ he totally knows i did it. ive fucked everything up.